In my arms, In shaa Allah

These past few days, my brain is not cooperating with my hands. I attempted so many times to blog and write about something but my brain just refused to work. I was feeling so down and I felt my bed has a gigantic magnet under it that keeps on pulling back my body towards it. My sleeping pattern is altered, waking up with headache and clogged nose. Thanks to my allergic rhinitis.

Recently, I’ve been thinking of my career. As you all know, I’ve been working as a pediatric nurse in PICU or the pediatric intensive care unit. The job is not easy, I must admit. I experienced 12-hour shift, four times a week forgetting to eat, holding my pee, being shouted at by some inconsiderate doctors, and having inadequate sleep. There are times that the area is idle, but most of the time it is busy.

What’s fulfilling in my job is to see our patient get well and be discharged from the hospital and be one of the reason behind how did they get well and treated, when we see them achieve their optimal health and when we see the smiles of their parents.

I saw children suffering because of their illness as well as those children with disabilities that need long term care. And the most heartbreaking is to see dying children.

It is too painful to see a child taking their last breath.

They have more to see in the world out there.

But Allah is All-knowing and All-aware.

He knows the best for all of us.

Divine Destiny. Qadr.


This is the part I am thankful for when I left my job. I am not seeing sick and dying children as often as before. But since my husband is also in the medical field dealing with children, we still have conversations about his sick patients, we share ideas and knowledge about the preventive measures and treatments we can give to the parents.

Sometimes I would think, it is so ironic. My husband and I are both in the medical field specialized in children and yet, we don’t have our own to take care of. SubhanAllah! 

Who am I to question my Creator’s destiny for us? I should be thankful because we may not be  the parents of these children but at least we had an opportunity to take care of them through our jobs.

I trust Allah.

Patience. Sabr.

I am not losing hope that one day, I will be able to hold my own child in my arms.

In Shaa Allah.

Here is a beautiful dua of Prophet Zakariyah Alayhi Salam:

{رب هب لي من لدنك ذرية طيبة، انك سميع الدعاء}

Rabbi hab lee mil-ladunka thurriyyatan, ‘innka Samee’ud-Dua’a

“O my Lord, Grant me from You, a good offspring. You are indeed the All-hearer of invocation.

Surah Al-‘Imran 3:38


8 thoughts on “In my arms, In shaa Allah

  1. AsSalaamu alaikum, my dear sister
    patience is the key; patience and dua and sadaqah and astaghfar. there are many recent posts on how to (in shaa Allah) get our dua answered. But you are right that Allah knows what is best for us, and He alone knows what the future holds.
    You are fortunate that you can stay home now but you do have a much needed skill and experience for your resume should you ever need to get back out there. Alhamdu lillahi ala kulli hal (Praise be to Allah in every condition)
    Be grateful, be patient, be blessed. Allah alone is enough for the disposer of our affairs.

    Who knows, in a few years you may be writing about all the noise that the KIDS are making, no?

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Walaikum salam wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuhu my dear!

      Jazakillahu Khair for reading my post. You are right, patience and dua and astaghfar. Jazakillahu Khair for reminding me. ❤️

      I will be the happiest when that time comes and their noise will be the music to my ears.
      In Shaa Allah.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. ❤ ❤ ❤ ❤ Allah chooses special people to look after children, May Allah make your du'aa come true at the exact moment that it is meant to be…
    Think good thoughts, no matter how painful life is and the things we see – remember Allah is the most Merciful. Each of those beautiful children who died will be granted Jannah, what could be better than that?

    Liked by 3 people

    1. AsSalam Alaikum my dear!

      Ameen. Ya Rabb! ❤️

      I don’t have any hope except Allah and I will keep on asking the Only One who can facilitate things for me. For the mean time, I will use my free time to do things to please and get closer to Him.

      May Allah unite them with the righteous believers and place under the care of Ibrahim Alayhi Salam.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I saw in your blog you educate little people. I’m actually interested now to change my career to be a teacher for early childhood education In Shaa Allah. 😊

        Liked by 2 people

  3. My heart goes out to you. May Almighty Allah grant yourl offspring soon. AAMEEN.
    My youngest sister tried n tried for over a decade and finally settled for adopting a child from an orphanage, who she made milk child…Alhamdulillah shez content now that she has a lil babe of her own.

    Liked by 1 person

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