Yet another unorganized post

One more day and the month of August is finished. Also, Eid Ul-Adha is coming. Really! How time flies so quickly! It seems like Ramadan has just finished yesterday. Let’s take the advantage of doing good deeds and increasing our worshipping during the first ten days of the month of Dhul Hijjah. May Allah accept our deeds and May Allah accept the service of the pilgrims that are going for Umrah and Hajj. May Allah make it easy for them to finish their Hajj and keep them safe at all times. May Allah facilitate all Muslims to perform Hajj.  Ameen! Ya Rabb!

I know I have been neglecting my blog lately but I think I have acceptable reasons for that. After I came back from my vacation, I had a lot of things to do at home. I resumed my online classes in Islamic Online University again, for the Free Courses only. I want to finish all the lectures to evaluate myself and see if I will be enrolling myself for the paid courses. Another thing, writing is a little bit difficult for me. I have to exert extra effort to make an article with a sense. HAHA. I don’t even know if I made one. You see, English is not my native language, yes it is my second language but I feel I am still weak with it. I was not even born to be a writer so most of my articles have flight of ideas and so disorganized and I apologize for that. I am not a typical blogger with scheduled posts and everything. I write whenever I feel I want to. I am just me expressing myself, sharing my life experiences and random thoughts and trying to communicate with other people in the world.

But being in this blogging community makes me happy and inspired. I am always skimming through the blogs I follow and read them especially the ones that I can relate to. The time I was feeling bad for myself because I felt my Iman is becoming weak and I was not having the same enthusiasm of learning new things similar to what I have during the first 2 years when I entered Islam, I came across with articles that boosted myself. I love reading comments as well because I can see advices and encouraging words from other Muslims.

By the way, couple of weeks ago, I was invited for a chit-chat with my two friends. They are also reverts like me and our husbands are with the same nationality. I enjoyed their company a lot. It was nice seeing them again and sitting with them. It was a fun evening.

Okay, I lied.

It was not that fun. I almost cried.

Both of them have two children, almost same age. I know that it is natural for mommies to talk and brag about their children and I don’t have any right at all to ruin their happiness and stop them from doing so. But I just felt out of place. They were talking about each of their children’s achievement, I kept quiet. I don’t have any stories to tell. While they were narrating the experiences they had during pregnancy and delivery, all I can narrate is how I am suffering from monthly dysmenorrhea. My tears wanted to get out of  my lacrimal duct and I couldn’t count how many times I pretended to yawn just to let go of some tears. I felt my feet wanted to run away and go home. I had been struggling with this issue before and you can read it here. To finish the story, Yes, I managed to stay with them but when I arrived home,I talked to one of them and told her what I felt and she was feeling sorry for being so insensitive. It’s okay. I have to be strong. I have to learn how to deal with this kind of situation because it is happening most of the time. I just have to keep my faith and believe that I will be a mother eventually in His perfect timing. In shaa Allah.

Oh by the way, is anybody familiar with the novel Anne of Green Gables. My sister recently introduced to me this series “Anne with an E” on Netflix. I watched the first season with 7 episodes. I remember seeing this show in cartoons when I was child. I am such a cry baby. I was crying when I watched it because people are judging her harshly because she’s an orphan and she looks different from them. She has red hair, she’s skinny and pale and they are calling her ugly. Just like in the real world, a lot of people are so racist and a lot of people are judging people according to their skin color. Now I am thankful I don’t have a child yet because Allah doesn’t want him to be hurt and grow up in this cruel world. Anyway, I’m going to get this novel in the bookshop as soon as possible to read it. In shaa Allah.

Thanks for passing by and Eid Mubarak everyone! 💞



2 thoughts on “Yet another unorganized post

Add yours

  1. Dear sister, I understand what you are going through. I was childless for the first six years of marriage. In every get-together ladies my age would speak about pregnancy symptoms and delivery pains.

    My infertility treatment had similar side facts as in pregnancy. But, I couldn’t fuss or get pampered. And when they spoke of delivery pains, I used tell myself, “Allah loves me. He has saved me from all this.”

    I am happy to say, I was blessed with easy care free pregnancy and relatively pain free delivery. Alhamdhulillah.

    Don’t worry dear, Allah will take care of all your needs. Remain strong.

    Liked by 2 people

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